


So that you may see (that I thought of you)

by Risabet



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: End of the World, M/M, but somehow I feel it isn't as sad as it could be either, no depictions of death or violence, sometimes you just make yourself sad, this fic is that for me, this isn't very happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27386665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Risabet/pseuds/Risabet
Summary: The man behind the counter keeps wiping his eyes with a small checkered cloth."I don't mind about myself, an old fogey like me," he says for the third or fourth time, "it's young people like you that I feel sorry for. Especially good kids like yourselves who would have had a bright future ahead." He lets out a shaky sigh and waves a hand almost impatiently at Seonghwa's offered payment, insisting that they take whatever they want and go have some fun while they still can.***AKA the last day before the end of the world told through Yunho's eyes.
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	So that you may see (that I thought of you)

The man behind the counter keeps wiping his eyes with a small checkered cloth.

  
"I don't mind about myself, not an old fogey like me," he says for the third or fourth time, "it's young people like you that I feel sorry for. Especially good kids like yourselves who would have had a bright future ahead." He lets out a shaky sigh and waves a hand almost impatiently at Seonghwa's offered payment, insisting that they take whatever they want and go have some fun while they still can. 

  
Seonghwa gives in surprisingly easily, except maybe there is nothing surprising about it under the circumstances. Instead he bows down deeply, the rest of them following suit, saying their thanks to the man who starts to cry again. He follows them outside to the street as they leave, grabbing items - some batteries, a bag of candy, two bottles of iced tea - from the shelves and pressing them into their hands, patting their shoulders as they go. 

  
When they reach the end of the block Yunho glances back over his shoulder one last time only to see the man still standing there in front of his little mom-and-pop corner store, looking after them. He doesn't return the small wave Yunho gives him as they round the corner.

It's a relief to be back at their dorm. They had imagined the streets would still be flooded with people and jammed with cars, but once outside they had been met with an eerie stillness. The few people they had encountered had been walking rather than running, some of them with a purpose like them, but most seemingly aimlessly, perhaps enjoying the sun while they still could.

  
The weather had felt wrong, too. Sure, it was normal for Seoul to be out of the rainy season by November, but gentle sunshine with temperatures well above fifteen degrees Celsius? Unheard of. Instead of being nice it had made all of them feel out of place, uneasy, ears constantly seeking out sounds of Spring - kids playing in the nearby park, birds singing - and finding a dull hush instead.

  
"Where is everybody?" San had whispered, eyes wide and spooked, one hand gripping Wooyoung's, the other clutching at Yeosang's sleeve. Yunho hadn't said anything, but he had felt just as freaked out as San had looked, and could feel panic bubbling in the pit of his stomach for the first time. Then Seonghwa had turned to San with a smile on his face and reasoned that those who had decided to leave had probably done so by now, and those who had decided to stay were most likely home with their loved ones.

  
"Just like we will be soon," he had said firmly, and somehow that had made Yunho feel better. There was no way of knowing whether Seonghwa had been right in what he was saying - for all they knew everyone could have just as well died overnight, the seemingly innocent apartment buildings possibly teeming with bodies - but Seonghwa had always had a knack for comforting others, had always known how to find the right tone of voice to transform even the most menial words into something reassuring. Even now it had been enough to calm the rest of them down to get them through their one last outing without further incident.

And now they are back, _back home_ , Yunho's mind supplies, everyone suddenly unsure of just what to do for the rest of the day. What are you supposed to do with the last hours you will ever be able to spend? The eight of them have all said their goodbyes to their families already. They have called numerous friends and sent out countless messages, made their peace with the situation to their best ability. Not all has been said or done nor will it ever be, but they have done what they can. And that is enough because with the way things are, it has to be.

  
In the end they decide to camp out on the roof and wait for the night there. It is as good an option as any, and they will be able to enjoy the sun and each other's company while having one final meal together, an outcome unanimously voted as the best case scenario by all, although Yunho thinks he won't be able to choke down a single bite even if he tries.

Turns out he is wrong. Wooyoung insists they make the roof as nice as possible, and they end up dragging upstairs all the mattresses, pillows and blankets they can find along with a number of flashlights that will come in handy later, as well as everything edible their kitchen holds. Despite everything it feels exactly like making a secret hideout or a pillow fort with your friends as a kid, and soon enough they fall into their usual easy pattern of loud laughter, someone constantly shouting and everyone talking over everyone else, all of them stuffing their faces with the healthy appetite of growing boys, actual ages be damned. Above them the sky is as blue as can be with not a cloud in sight, and if you keep looking up it is almost possible to imagine it's July right before school lets out and summer is right in front of you, seemingly endless and full of opportunities.

  
It's been a stressful week up until now, Yunho thinks vaguely when there is a lull in conversation, it's only fair for them to have a day like this today. He leans back and stretches out onto on one of the mattresses, his stomach full and mind temporarily at ease. As he lets his eyes slip closed, fragments of memories start to creep to the forefront of his mind, each one of them a brief snapshot against a jumbled backdrop.

  
_Hongjoong, pale and speechless, tears in his eyes but nodding firmly as they all choose to remain together instead of trying to get back to their families._

  
_Jongho punching his bedroom wall repeatedly until Mingi and Wooyoung are able to hold him back, his knuckles bleeding and smearing the wallpaper with rusty stains._

  
_San curled up small in the corner of the living room couch, eyes fixed unblinkingly on a photo of his grandparents held firmly in front of him._

  
_Yeosang breaking into unexpected tears mid-sentence while casually asking what everyone would like to have for breakfast._

  
_Wooyoung stating matter-of-factly that he has no regrets, that thanks to them he has been able to live exactly the life he had always dreamed of._

  
_Seonghwa pressing his face into Hongjoong's hair when he thinks no one else is there to see, breathing in deeply in an effort to keep it together._

  
_Mingi-_

The spinning images inside of Yunho's eyelids slow down at the thought of Mingi. _Mingi cracking a bad joke in an effort to cheer San up._

  
_Mingi sitting on the bathroom floor, his eyes red and puffy, his voice apologetic._

  
_Mingi reciting his favorite memories of everyone as they pop into his mind throughout the week, occasionally resulting in tears, but more often in smiles, even laughter._

  
_Mingi and Yunho holding each other through the night, sleep escaping both of them._

  
_Yunho taking one final look at the dance studio they will never come back to._

  
_Yunho and Mingi taking turns to give San, Wooyoung and Yeosang piggyback rides, spinning around wildly as they do so, the rest of them talking Jongho into joining them only for Mingi to trip spectacularly as soon as Jongho hops onto his back, Hongjoong and Seonghwa laughing their heads off at the sight._

  
_Yunho telling his mom and dad that he couldn't have asked for better parents, his parents telling him they love him, always have, always will._

  
_Yunho crying against Mingi's shoulder so hard it feels like he will never take a proper breath again._

When Yunho opens his eyes the sky above him is still bright, but there is already a worn out quality to it that warns of the upcoming evening and, unavoidably, night. It makes his breath hitch in his throat briefly, panic flaring inside like the first match ready to set an entire forest ablaze.

  
Before he can react the mattress dips slightly and the comforting weight of another human sets down next to him. Yunho knows without looking that it's Mingi, can recognize him by the familiar scent after years of living together. 

  
He rolls over and entangles their legs together without a word, bringing them almost nose to nose, close enough for Yunho to count Mingi's every eyelash individually should he wish to do so.

  
Yunho does. He desperately wants to remember all of this, to commit even the smallest of details into memory, to hold onto what is still left while he still he can.

  
The heat radiating from Mingi makes Yunho realize how cold he is despite the mildness of the day, and he curls even closer to Mingi who envelopes Yunho's hands into his own, rubbing them steadily and evenly. He keeps his eyes on their hands when he murmurs quiet enough for only Yunho to hear.

  
"So this is it, huh?" All eight of them have been avoiding the topic as much as possible this afternoon, but there is no denying that time is running out. If there is something left to say, it truly is now or never.

  
"Yeah," Yunho nods, his lips numb around the words, "I guess it really is." Mingi nods back, his expression uncharacteristically solemn. Everything about him is muted and subdued compared to how he usually is, a black and white film instead of Technicolor. 

  
Yunho's heart aches at the thought. He frees one hand from Mingi's and brings it up to cup his best friend's cheek.

  
His best friend. The person who knows him best. The person he likes the best.

  
His.

  
Mingi finally meets his eyes at the touch, and the smile that appears on his face is sad and so very gentle. He doesn't let go of Yunho as he brings his now free left hand to cover Yunho's right as if to keep it in place, to make sure Yunho will cradle his face for all of eternity. Again they meet each other halfway - story of their lives - as their lips press together, soft and chaste.

  
It isn't the first time, not by far. What almost kills Yunho is the knowledge that it very nearly is the last.

  
"I love you so much," he gasps out, tears spilling over and turning Mingi's sweet taste salty.

  
"I love you too," Mingi whispers back, and Yunho can hear he isn't far from tears either.

Soon they will get up and join the others, and rather than say goodbye, the eight of them will face the end together as one. Soon Yunho will look at his friends - his family - for one last time, and his heart will almost burst with how grateful he is for having known them. Soon the sun will finally set.

  
But right now he will breathe in Mingi as if though he has all the time in the world to do so. Right now he will pretend they have a tomorrow ahead of them.

  
Right now it is enough, because it has to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Any feedback you might have is much appreciated.
> 
> I sometimes have dreams of the world ending. Usually they are tinged with sadness rather than panic, and spent trying to make my way back to my family. I always wake up crying. I had one of these dreams this week for the first time in a while. A few days after that I heard the song Run away by TXT for the first time, and felt very touched by the sad lyrics. Somehow these two things combined in my mind to inspire this fic, and it was indeed the mood of that song that I tried to capture while writing.
> 
> The title is borrowed from the English translation of Wilhelm Müller's Gute Nacht.


End file.
